khylara rainbow hearts

Moving to Dreamwidth

This will be my last post here. Due to the recent change in lj's user agreement i feel that it is no longer safe for me to post. Maybe i am overreacting...russia is far away and i am just a fluffy fannish lesbian in nj...but with the direction the country is going in i would just feel better in a safer space.

I will leave this up for a bit before deleting it. And if anyone is still out there, i will be on dreamwidth under the same name. Hopefully i will find the time to post more over there than i have here lately.

Good-bye lj. It was good while it lasted. Thank you all for coming.
Barry scarf

Answer for question 4588.

If you could meet one of your favorite celebrities, dead or alive, who would it be and why? What would make that moment so spectacular? What would you say to them if you could say only one thing to that particular person?
This actually came true. When I was in high school, Barry Manilow came to a Cherry Hill bookstore (now gone sadly) to sign copies of his Bio "Sweet Life". I took a day off school to wait in line ALL DAY (actually read the book in line) When I got up to him I was so nervous I was pretty much tongue-tied, but I remember I had on my denim jacket with all my Barry Manilow buttons on it and he said "Oh God, my life on a jacket!" I asked for (and got) a hug and a kiss. To this day, I don't remember walking out of the store.

The three pictures my dad managed to take that day are still up on my wall 30 years later.
book nerd

Answer for question 4358.

How do you feel about e-readers? Would you rather read an actual, physical book? Why do you prefer one over the other?
I love books. I love the feel, the weight of them in my hands. I've loved books every since I learned how to read. I have shelves of them - both fiction and nonfiction - on a variety of subjects. Everything form history to gay/lesbian romance too political thrillers to cozy mysteries to crafting. The quote that's my icon sums up my love pretty accurately - when I have a little money, I buy books. If there is any left, then I buy food and clothes.

But I also love my e-reader. Starting with a used Kindle that was a gift from a dear friend (Thanks, Bast!) to the one I have now, I have loved my kindle. The main advantage for me is the portability - I love to read huge hardcover books (think Tom Clancy & Margaret George) with tiny print. Not real portable and I take public transportation, where bringing something to read every day is pretty necessary. I can shove my kindle in my purse and go on my way with no worries or back strain. I can also take hundreds of books with me while traveling, so if I finish one, I can click on another with no problem.

Another advantage is the annonymity of it. I also like to read smoking hot lesbian/gay erotica and slash fanfiction. Sometimes the covers can be a bit risque, especially on public transportation. But with my kindle I can read the most toe-curling, sexiest story ever written and no one is the wiser.

So I love both for very different reasons, but for one main one. I love to read.
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everything will be all right

How Things Have Been

Once again I have no idea how to start things, so I'll just jump right in.

First off - thank you and massive squishy hugs to everyone who offered sympathy, encouraging words and support after my last update.  You don't know how much it helped knowing all of you are out there and I love all of you so much you have no idea.  So thank you.

Things here are...okay.  I'm not skipping giddily through the tulips, but I'm also not curled up in a corner whimpering pathetically, either. Aside from a call and a few emails from the two sisters who used to give me rides home from work, no one from my former job has contacted me and I have honestly not contacted any of them.  At this point, I hope I never see any of them ever again and that they all die in a fire.  And if that makes me sound bitter, well...I am and I will probably be for some time to come.

 I'm taking the time off I have now to pull together and update my resume, continue to get my health under control and regroup.  I am getting severance and unemployment, plus doing ebay to keep busy, so money-wise things are okay for now.  It helps that I no longer have to shell out the considerable amount of money every week in order to get to my job ($50 a month for a pass plus $20 a week for train/busfare) and that I filed for bankruptcy last year.  I would be in so much more trouble now if I hadn't done that.  But right now I have a bit in savings and a bunch of things to put up on ebay to sell if things get tight, so on that front, things are okay.

Health wise things are also getting better.  I am now under 200 pounds for the first time in I don't know how long and hardly anything in my closet fits me anymore. Which - considering all I've been wearing lately is jeans and t-shirts, isn't a great hardship. I haven't been walking as much as I was, but that is partly because it's been disgustingly hot here.  But I am watching my diet still (It's been an effort not to dive right into a pint of Ben & Jerry's but so far I have resisted) and all of my blood tests lately have come back good.  So while the weight loss is still agonizingly slow, I am still losing and things on that front are getting easier.   Although I still miss things like bacon and pizza and anything fried.

Other than that I have been trying to keep busy.  Ebay listings, comfort reading (a lot of fanfic, especially Bast & Sekhmet's Jim & Jason absolutely fabulous series of books - thank you, darlings! *HUGS*)  and comfort movies & TV (older historicals, Bogart, Grant and Hepburn. Season 1 part 2 of CSI Miami) I'm looking forward to seeing the Shinys in October.  I've gone thru my summer closet and Mom got everything that doesn't fit for her to sell on ebay and I went thru her stock to find some nicer things (Hawaiian shirts and such) that fit me for now. And I've been helping her out with shopping and her garden.

So for now, things are okay.  And considering everything that's happened over the past six months, that's bordering on a miracle.

Things can only get better from here on out.  And they will - that I can promise you. 
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I can haz hugs?

So I guess I spoke too soon...

I got laid off today.

Over 21 years at my job - and I'm done.

They're paying me thru to the end of the week. I get 10 weeks severance and my insurance is okay until the end of August. I can file for unemployment Friday at 5pm.

I just - I was blindsided. No one had any inkling this was coming and I wasn't the only one let go. (I was one of 10 people)  It's just - I thought with everything (my years there, being the only clerk left, etc) I thought I'd be safe.  I should have known better.

*sigh* I'll be okay. I'm just having a hard time processing this right now.
casablanca bogart

*squishy hugs everyone*

And while I'm here pestering the universe, I'd like to thank everyone for all their kind words, their support and the virtual hugs I recieved after my announcement (such as it was) in March.  You don't know how much it helped knowing you were all thinking of me. So thank you.

Things have been fairly calm here lately - work has been quiet with very little drama.  My doctors are pleased with my improvement with things such as they are - with the medication I'm on my diabetes is officially considered under control and my numbers have been normal with no major spikes since I got out of the hospital.  Everything else is also approaching normal, I've started walking for excersize (around my work building at lunch and getting off at further away bus stops) and so far I've lost 12 pounds. The weight loss has been slow - I'm on a lot of medication and it's slowing things down, so even thought I'm on a restrictive diet (low salt, no sugar, low fat, low carb) the pounds aren't coming off as fast as I would like.  But I am seeing a difference - I'm having a hard time finding clothes in my closet that fit already.

Which pisses me off a little - because the t-shirts I like the most (my mountain fairy shirts, a lot of my fannish & wrestling shirts) are now far too big for me to wear.  So I'm pissed for a good reason, but it's still annoying and I've already made a list of the ones I want to replace when my weight has gotten down to what the doctor wants.  (for the record, he wants me to lose at least 50 - 60 pounds)

My depression has also gotten a little better - I'm not bursting into tears every seven seconds anymore, which is a plus.  (My GP upped my Paxil - and while I still have lows on the rollercoaster, they haven't been as low or as frequent) This weekend has been particularly hard since the Shinys are at MWC in Michigan and I'm home. I know why I had to cancel, but that doesn't mean I have to like it - which was another reason I wanted to get out of the house today.

But I am looking forward to seeing them in October and I'm looking forward to going to Philadelphia ComicCon with my sister next weekend and I'm looking forward to seeing Much Ado About Nothing (Clark Gregg) and I'm going to try and see Iron Man 3 and Great Gatsby as well (we'll see how well I do) Nothing else I saw trailers for really grabbed me enough to want to go see, but we'll see. Also looking forward to JW's Agents Of Shield and Sherlock S3in the fall.

I also caught the season finales of NCIS, NCIS LA, Once Upon A Time, Supernatural, Arrow and Doctor Who.  Doctor Who made no sense to me at all - I like Clara but I have no clue where they're going with this, but it was fun catching all the references for the other doctors thru the season. I missed all of NCIS & NCIS LA all season, so watching the finales didn't make a lot of sense but they made me want to start watching them both again in Sept. Arrtow & Supernatural I watch for the eye candy (Mark Sheppard & John Barrowman) so I honestly didn't care if they didn't make any sense to me :)  And I only watched Once Upon A Time to see the Shield promo, but it caught me enough so I might give it a try in Sept.

And thanks to my sister I'm watching Game Of Thrones - which I find very brutal but good. I'm also working my way through the books, which are veryvery long but veryvery good.  Seriously - if you're into epics with casts of thousands, these are really good. Writing-wise I haven't made much progress, but I am scribbling fragmented notes for a Clint/Coulson novella and I'm still planning a story collection for some point in the future whenever my muse decides to stop being lazy *pokes muse*

So I'm doing okay - things are getting better on many levels. And hopefully they will from now on. :)
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Save a ship...

Star Trek Into Darkness

So - because I didn't feel like cleaning or doing laundry or anything even remotely adult, I went to the movies.  Was planning on seeing Iron Man until I saw the schedule (both movie & bus) so I went to see Star Trek Into Darkness instead.

And it blew my mind.  Absolutely wonderful. I was spoiled for some key elements (who John Harrison was, what happened to Pike) but the rest of it, I didn't see coming. (Okay, so I'm dense) It had a lot of little funny bits and a couple gut wrenching ones and was completely amazing.  I flailed and laughed and it made me cry a little. Everything I could have hoped for in a sequel and everyone was stunning in it.  Just perfect.

Well - almost.  Needed more Bones/Kirk interaction, but the look on McCoy's face while he looked down at Kirk almost made up for it.

I didn't look at my watch once and I would go see it again. Definitely.

And then I went for lunch at Applebees. All in all a nice day. 

Tomorrow Mom & I are going to the thrift store and I have to do laundry and clean (what I was going to do today) And tonight I'm planning on listing on ebay. Next week I'm going with my sister and her family to Philadelphia's Comicon for a day - she's going for Walking Dead, I'm going for John Barrowman. It should be a blast - my sister has never been to any type of con before.
bubble wrap

Happy New Year!

Since I'll probably be in bed for the new year (real party zone here. folks :)  I'd like to wish my LJ friends a happy, safe and prosperous new year.  May 2013 be better for all of us on every level imaginable.

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purple christmas ball

Christmas Cards - Let's Try It Early This Year...

And see how well I do :)

If you would like a card this year (hopefully before Christmas comes up :)  then please leave your address below - even if you've left it in year's past or think I have it.  I might - but then I might not - I've become fairly scatterbrained lately. And I know there are new people here and some of you have moved to other places.

Comments will be screened to protect everyone's privacy and if you would like mine in return please let me know.

Happy Holidays!
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Lestrade - reading is sexy

Public Service Announcement: My Fanfiction

For those of you playing the home game, over the years I’ve had a variety of fanfic collections and novels printed with Requiem/Lionheart. These have also been available (more expensively) at Agent With Style through the mail and at various conventions. As of Nov 1, 2011, they will now only be available either with Bast at Requiem Publications ( or with Joyce at Lionheart Distribution ( exclusively. 


These are the titles:

Partners – Law & Order SVU Munch/Fin slash collection
No More Doubts – Public Enemies 4some slash/het novella
Somewhere Down The Road – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed AU slash novella
Together – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed novella
Faerie – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed AU novel
Collected by Khylara  – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed slash collection
Miami Dreams – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed slash collection
Miami Heat – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed slash collection
Miami Magic – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed slash collection
Miami Hearts – CSI Miami Horatio/Speed slash collection

Any other future collections/novels/etc will also only be available at either Requiem or Lionheart.  Please note that they will NOT be put online. All of these are available either as printed fanzines, CDs or downloads.  Requiem and Lionheart also carry literally hundreds of books in a plethora of fandoms as well as very yummy original slash. 

Also, if you’re looking for someone to put out your fannish novel or story collection – they are the best. Period. Bast is a great editor and will take on any fandom. Joyce is a wonderful artist and fabulous with the technical side of things. Together they’ll make you look like a zillion bucks. I’ve trusted them with my work for years and have never had any problems.

Thank you for your time and attention. We now return you to your regularly scheduled LJ.